Best Meme Ever

This wasn't my idea (I credit Shannon and Anne), but I think it's the best meme I've ever heard of.

Here is the assignment, which I have embellished (feel free to add/remove steps for your own purposes):

1. Share the worst photo of yourself you have, preferably a reasonably current one. One that makes you cringe and die a little inside because that's how ugly you look in it. The one that turned the photo developer guy into STONE and prompted a lawsuit from Walgreens.

2. Share a current photo of yourself when you've just woken up. Walk into the bathroom and just take it, under the harsh bathroom lights. Brushing your teeth is cheating.

3. Share the nicest photo of yourself that you have--again, preferably a current one. Cheat your ass off if you like; the models do it, so why can't we?

4. Feel free to add a category for your own meme-ing purposes, such as Worst Acne Ever, Worst Hair Ever, or Worst Goth Phase Ever. Be creative! (This is also your chance to use photos from times long past, if you like.)

I think this is a great meme idea, but the thing is, I don't have all that many bad pictures of myself ... not because I'm particularly photogenic, but because I have a delete key and I know how to use it. So it took some serious digging to find a horrifying photo, but the good news is, I found one!

Here it is ...

S
C
R
O
L
L

D
O
W
N,

P
R
E
F
E
R
A
B
L
Y

B
L
I
N
D
F
O
L
D
E
D

.
.
.



Yeah. I'm not even going to theorize about all the elements in play that came together to form the ugliest human ever, so we'll just move on. To something almost as bad.

Here is what I look like when I've just woken up, in the freaky pink bathroom lighting, with my face dial set to Maximum Puff. The truth will set me free. The truth will set me free.



Finally, proof that I'm a blog scammer who is actually fifty years old. If my condo owners saw that, something tells me they wouldn't be charging me sexy taxes anymore.

As for the nicest photos of myself that I have, I don't get my picture taken all that often anymore, but I like these two from the past year, neither of which have been shopped:




As for my Special Categories, I have two.

First: Scariest Shoulders Ever, in Addition to Zombie Facial Expression and Plenty of Forehead Grease



I realize how scary this is, but I swear they don't really look like that. It's just the way I'm leaning on my elbows.

Second: Biggest Leap in Attractiveness Within Thirty Seconds
(taken the day of Hugh's escape into Cotton Candy Land)




Well then. That's it. I tag ... well, EVERYBODY, especially any blogger who has yet to reveal what they look like (that means you, Moose). As Hugh would say, hop to it!

OTHER BAD MOTHAF&#KAS PARTICIPANTS:
Shannon of Westering Hills
Sam of Sam Not Samantha

(If you do this meme, please leave a comment here and I'll add your link.)